Starting

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I’m not very good at this, let’s hope I get better.

They say starting is the hardest part. And they’re right, especially when a blank page is staring you in the face. The insistent blinking of the cursor punctuating your mental emptiness. So why am I starting this?

Because I have to.

This isn’t a complete departure from myself; when I was younger I wanted to write for Vogue, or a bit later Man Repeller, or honestly anyone who would listen. But I was never sure I had anything interesting to say about fashion, or knew how to articulate it well. Putting your thoughts online inevitably makes you vulnerable, and yet here we are.

I’m starting this blog as part of a business module in my final year of university. I am, of course, questioning this decision. And will probably continue to do so until I graduate. You never know, this could be the start of my career as a blogger. When I say I’m questioning the decision I mean the decision to make a blog, but also the decision to do this university course. It’s a BA called Design for Industry, it’s follow on from my HND in Jewellery and Silversmithing. Unsurprisingly the BA focuses on the design aspects of the jewellery business, and this is great if you want to be a designer, but I don’t. I want to work in accessories or fashion. I want to be a buyer. And while it’s great that I’ve realised this, I may have realised it a little bit late. I applied, thinking it’d be good practice. I interviewed, thinking it’d be good to have options. Then I was doing it, knowing it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I didn't stop to think between getting accepted and starting, I got carried along by the natural momentum of things. I should’ve given it more thought.

Do I regret this choice? Maybe. It’s less than ideal to be spending £9000 on something you’re not interested in doing. But I’m telling myself it’s still a valuable qualification. I enjoy being at university, and I don’t mind designing jewellery but it’s not for me. I enjoyed jewellery and making it when I started, but I went out and got experience at a commercial company and it just made so much more sense to me. I’m trying not to let this course be a waste of time.

So I have to make a website, which is hopefully relevant to my future employment. Most people on my course are making websites that show their portfolio of work and their ability to design, but as I’ve previously expressed this wouldn’t make sense for me. Instead I’m hoping this blog will show I’ve got good taste, or that I know what is going on in fashion, maybe it’ll even show I have a brain. It might just make me look crazy.

I may not have any groundbreaking journalism to offer. But unqualified opinions, those I have plenty of.

Annelies Hill